How to change other's life?

It is very difficult to change our life but it is even difficult to change others. First of all why one want to do that? Are they Gandhi or Buddha or Jesus? Here is nature play important role, if you take 100 person randomly, the one would be the game changer, not his/her own but others also. There are several motivational speaker, millions of books, private counseling available in market just to deal with this subject. But unfortunately all are primarily to mend money and business. Those things won't work, even though one read several books and attend n number of training may not yield the result.

Listen through Eyes

When ever we speak with others, the eye is the main communicator not his/her mouth and words. The eye speaks differently than the real communication. The game changers or the 1/100 who created by natural to deal with changing other's life should listen the eyes to understand the real issue of others. Sometimes the communication sparks like fire but eyes shows cold, we can't do anything to help them. Sometimes communication drags low but we can see the spark the eye. The matter of fact is, eye can tell you whether the receiver just receiving the communication sake of it or they are serious. The important step for game changers is how to deal with eyes.

Start Change from their interest

One of the big mistake the game changers often do is impose their interest to others. Because we believe that the interest we posses are the proven and that changes our life hence superior but that won't work. If one is not interest to learn certain things there would be definitely a different form the same which might interest to the subject hence we can recommend that to them.

Not aware of that habit

Tiger Woods case is classic example of this, after we believe that we know everything about one and start dealing with change but suddenly some surprises happening from them is no good. The rule of thump is, always expect some surprise from them, the game changers should prepare upfront "what if" scenario. The strategy is, when to exit based on surprises, what is our threshold? our patience are the yard stick here.

After exit never look back

This is one of the main mistake we do after exiting on success or failure, either way once we are not engaging with the change game never look back. They should be in "kind of wish ignore list". There are several reasons behind it, one of the far most is that look back will hurt us if we do serious introspection.

Polished and whisked

I’m still researching on my second series of liquidation, in the mean time here is a new blog about polished, diplomatic communication and straightforward communication patterns.

A friend of mine discussed with me a long time ago that why Americans are so successful at marketing and selling more cars than Germans, but Germans are very good at mechanics and engineering [This discussion happened several years ago, at that time Ford and GM outperforms Benz and BMW at almost all markets in sales]. The friend visited 16 countries and he has more international experience than me, he concluded that Americans always smile and Germans keep stiff face and they are not good at talking and marketing, more than that they are straightforward (plain) talking what they are thinking in the mind. But I was not convinced at all because he was making a generalization statement. One of the great examples of plain communication is Joe Biden, USA’s current vice president who lost all previous bids of USA”s presidency even though he is talented, honest senator with foreign relations and high IQ, EQ and experience.

The following are the main reasons why plain communication fails,

1. Actually we want to hear always good things about us, we don’t want to hear anything negative about us. Most of times plain communication misses the sugar coating.
2. Context wise implied meanings are very hard to understand for common folks, since sometimes plain communication labeled as contradiction.
3. Plain communication sometimes hurt other’s feeling, even though it was not intended. Plain communications sometimes gives not enough explanations and context and full sentences. Hence we often take it seriously. For example, I went to a BMW car shop and salesman said that here cars are little expensive, so you made your mind. This was very plain and he might imply that i can’t buy the car or he is just warning me before hand since I give him a sense that I just came to this country. This required some analytical from our side.
4. Trust or mistrust, once we trust others we can easily communicate very plainly, sometime we thinks that we are in some trust but the communication receiver was not that trust as producer.

I think how to communicate and what to communicate also now become an art, one size doesn’t fit all. But we can communicate freely and plainly with progressive minded friends because they want to progress with our honest feed back or understands the fully about context, but with others we have to use polished and diplomatic way of communication.