OMG,You Screwed Up

The day was perfect for Marion to meditate for million dollars from God as usual. Marion doing this ritual for last 50 years since he was 4 years old. He usually wakes up at 5.00 AM, after his usual matutinal duties, he sits in front of god to meditate for money. The mantra is "Please, God, come in front of me to give million dollars". As of today, he had meditated almost 3 billion times, God became impatient, God decided to show up in front of him. First Marion was surprised that God was very simple and clean shaved, god looks very young.

God said "Son, I was watching and listening your mantra since you started 50 years ago, I was very impressed with your determination" and continued "do you know that you spent exactly 1,000,000 minutes for the meditation and if you use those time for other job like milk/paper distribution and invested in even municipal bonds, you would have made 1 million already".

God was little tired, god asked some water, Marion gave water. After drinking water God continued "Anyway you begged me, I’m here to help you but some string attached". Marion was very happy with God’s encomium, he is now expecting something bigger from God. God said "Son, I will give you a suitcase which is filled with diamonds, each one costs more than 1 million,total worth of all the diamonds is more than 1 billion but you have to satisfy one condition for me, if you do, you can take all the diamonds".

Marion became very tensed, God continued " the condition is, you have to give this suitcase to someone you know, they have to keep the suitcase for 3 days in their possession, if they try to open or steal it the deal breaks, whenever they try to open or steal it you will get text message, only opening has no issues but stealing is unacceptable, you then take the suitcase from them and give to other, you can rotate to 3 persons, if all 3 persons do fail, you won’t get this suitcase, when giving to them you have to disclose all the details about this suitcase but you should not tell that I gave you, and you should not give the suitcase to person who’s age is below 18" Marion is very happy that this is the dumbest condition, he thinks that he can satisfy God’s condition very easily.

God took his mobile number and suddenly become invisible. Marion is very happy that he is going to own 1 billion very soon.

Swami(Priest) Shakalakalavallavan(Shak)

Marion knows Shak for more than 25 years. Shak lives in a hut and eats only raw vegetable. Shak claims that God directly speaks with him daily.He offered many solutions to some of his followers. Marion was one of his hardcore followers. As soon as, God told all conditions, Marion starts thinking about Shak. Because Shak is a priest, he has no wife, kids, no bad habits, he even didn’t get money from followers for his spiritual services. He even doesn’t know how a 100 dollar bill looks like. Marion decided to give the suitcase to Shak. Marion meets Shak and said "Swamiji, I have something for you to keep, it is a suitcase full of diamonds, worth more than 1 billion, I want you to keep this for 3 days. Shak opens his eyes said "Kid, I don’t know what you meant by 1 billion, is it weight of the diamonds? You can keep it in my personal room, I will take care for you,pukka". Marion is very happy and left the suitcase in Swamiji’s room.

First 2 days no text messages, Marion started thinking about how he wants to spend that 1 billion dollar. He wants to buy a shoe immediately since his shoe become very old, want to buy a house in Hawaii, Florida and buy a diamond nickels for his wife. His day dreaming stopped when he got text that suitcase was open, and then followed by stealing text. Marion was shocked and rushed to Swamiji’s hut.

As per design, whenever someone try to open the suitcase and touches the diamond, they become paralyzed, they can’t move until they see Marion. Swami’s hand is stuck in suitcase until Marion showed up in his room. Marion asked "Swamiji, you try to steal the diamonds, why swamiji, why?". Swamiji cried that "sorry my son, I was little disturbed with huge money, how many more days I’m going to spend in this hut, I also want to buy a private island to mediate peacefully". Marion took the suitcase and left the place.

Businessman Boughut

Marion’s one of close friend is Boughut, he is one of the top world’s richest person. As per latest Forbes, his rank is 10th. Marion now thinks that if he gives the suitcase to richest man, his suitcase will be safe because Boughut already owns 300 billion dollars, he will not try to steal from this suitcase. Marion got the appointment to meet Bought, he explained all to Boughut. Boughut said "See Marion, I don’t have time to open this suitcase, I travel all over world, I might forget this conversation because I have so much to do, so little time, I will keep this for you 3 days, 1 billion is like 100 dollars for me,you know" Marion again becomes confident that he will own the suitcase.

As soon as Marion came out of the meeting he enters bathroom, he just opened his pants zip he got first text that the suitcase was opened, even before he completes pee, he got second message that diamond are about to be stolen. Marion ran to Boughut office. Boughut explained that "see Marion, the difference between me and my next richest man is only 50 million, you see my company stock also dent now, to make those 50 million I try to steal 50 diamonds, sorry, You know slipping from 10th rank to 11th rank is soo hard". Marion now very saddened, Boughut's greediness bollixed up the deal between him and God.He takes the suitcase and left Boughut’s office.

Prof. Paratha

Prof Paratha is Marion’s classmate and roommate. Both of them are thickest friends. Prof. Paratha dedicated his entire life to researching Aliens and UFOs. One time Prof. Paratha absconded from University and claimed that he was abducted by Aliens. But he went to Arizona desert to hide under bunkers because he got a credible message from outer space that aliens preparing to attack human immediately.

Marion now thinks that Prof. Paratha is the only resort to keep the suitcase because academics would not follow money like spiritual or businessman. Marion meets Prof. Paratha explains all about suitcase and diamonds. Prof. Paratha said, "Marion, don’t worry, I will not even touch the suitcase, you can keep it in my lab".

Marion comes out the university campus with renewed hope that he will own all diamonds. This time Marion didn’t get text messages 2 days. Marion starts ordering his shoe, his wife’s necklace, and some emails to Hawaii realtor. 3rd day came and time passes by, Marion is holding his breath. But he got first open text message and followed by steal message. Prof. Paratha disappointed he couldn’t even see Marion eye to eye, but he insisted that "I didn’t steal any diamonds, but I was very curious to see whether this diamonds came from other space, usually earth based diamonds won’t weigh this much you know".

The suitcase became invisible with in seconds, and a text message come from God to Marion which simply stated "OMG, you screwed up".

Comments

sukumar said…
This is superb Subba. If you are serious about this, you should use some realistic names and try to get this published.
Thanks Sukumar. I writing for some change but it is interesting, i think that i consider some serious from next time.
Anonymous said…
I really like when people are expressing their opinion and thought. So I like the way you are writing
Thanks Anonymous, you made my day, I'm very encouraged with your kind words.
Anonymous said…
Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now. Keep it up!
And according to this article, I totally agree with your opinion, but only this time! :)

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